I have been thinking a lot about my past lately. How I use to have a pretty big following for my pinups and comic work on DA and in other places. How I walked away from keeping up with those things cause I got frustrated with the way things were going in my life and I felt like I no longer had time.
Then I felt like I wasn't good enough then i felt like I should just get a job at a fast food restaurant cause no one really cared about what I was doing. I was at a all time low and I felt worthless.
I couldn't see what was really happening cause I was dealing with my own demons. But now I see.
All the effort and time I was putting in was a great stepping stone for building my skills, learning to have a business, learning to have work ethic, learning to improve my color work and I was also surrounded by a group of loving fans that enjoyed watching me grow more than I could understand.
I think I am finally entering into a new season where I want to step back in the ring. but this time on my own terms. My time is mine, my energy is mine. and I am more motivated than I have ever been.
I got tired of being tired and figured out what was creating my creative and motivational block and pushing me to settle for so much less than I was truly worth.
It sucks I had to learn the hard way and I had to sit and watch my peers progress and move forward around me while I stood still trying to work out my issues. But I have made progress. Lots of progress.
I have never felt this good about anything I created or been this motivated. What's more is the blinders are off and people have told me my work has impacted them in positive ways. It feels good to finally start expressing myself on my own terms. It took some sacrifices to get here but they are worth it for the joy I feel.