Even when I lived out of state for school it was the same. Only she would call me and yell at me and make demands and guilt me saying I owed her money at 4 am everyday instead. Then I had to get up and run myself crazy trying to fill her request.
I was so drained from yrs of this I wanted to just give up being a artist at all cause I felt like I was going no where. My self esteem and belief in my ability to complete anything was non-existent. I could just get a job in fast food and work like a dog so I could come home and give her the money she so demanded.
Anyway, fast foreword to 2016. She passed away and it seemed like now everyone else in my family wanted to step in and take her place. People calling me begging for money, asking me to drop everything and help them with what they needed, and never being available to help me when I was struggling. Every time I looked up some family member was going through some major crisis and I needed to help save them regardless of my own crisis that was happening.
I would even explain to them how I couldn’t keep constantly helping them out of their problems cause my own plate was full and it was like it went in one ear and out the other cause 3 days later they were crying at me again about how much they needed my help. How they had no one else to turn to and I was there only hope!
And they were all legitimate problems that seemed like they were emergencies.
Here are some example:
#1. I had a stroke and I'm in the hospital and I can't pay for my medication cause I have been sick and out of work can you help me?
#2. I'm fighting with my boyfriend who is abusive and taking my money and now I'm trying to move out at 4 am can you help me?
#3. I caught covid and they took me off work and my recovery was hard and my paycheck was short so I cant pay my car note, now that I'm working again and the car company is going to remote shut down my car if I don’t give them money in the next 15 minutes and you were my only hope. Can you help me?
#4. My son just got 3rd degree burns and is in the hospital and I cant work and I dont know how I’ll pay rent cause I have to be at the hospital with him so now I cant take care of my other 4 kids. Can you help?
#5. I just got retired from my job cause I am now physically handicapped due to knee pain and arthritis and I cant drive can you help me find a lawyer and get my social security and write out all my bills and take me to the store and take me to the bank and cook food for me and loan me money till Friday and help me get up off the floor at 3 am because I fell down and can't get up and my 74 year old husband that lives with me cant help me with anything and my kids that are also adults are not able to help me because I have not been honest with them about what is happening in my house hold and they don't know whats going on because I hide things and don't communicate with people about what is going on because they are busy, but you are not busy and you live closer etc etc etc.... can you save me?
Geez I could keep going like this. I had to start asking myself how would these people even begin to make it if I'm not constantly saving them from themselves?
Comments