As I complete these panels I realize how fast this process can actually move along if I set goals and stick to them.
I set a goal for myself to start being more productive for myself. Draw for 2 hrs a day on my own terms. Treat my personal art career like its important to me and secure a future for my own ideas to actually be manifested on paper.
After all, what good is a idea that stays in your mind.
Tornado Alley has always been intended to be a outlet for expressing myself in a fun and funny light hearted way. What better way to release stress than with humor and to get the stuff out of your head that bothers you.
Thing is I never believed anyone cared to see it or experience it let alone pay for it. At least not until I got unto the Nelson Atkins Museum exhibition.
When I recieved feed back on how much Block and Delete impacted people it really helped me see I had a important voice as a artist. A voice people wanted to hear.
It was a liberating experience to suddenly see that after years of emotional abuse in my family that there were people out there that saw what I had to say as important and relatable.
My mom use to say she didn't care about my problems. I wasnt "famous" yet, as if to give credit that yes I had talent but I still wasn't important and nothing I did really mattered. The only thing that mattered was I take care of her and her needs.
She consistently tore me down and made sure I knew I meant nothing. But the devil is a liar as they say. Its hard to believe otherwise when the most important person in your life constantly reminds you of how little value you have.
Building your self esteem after growing up with none is the hardest thing a person might ever do when starting from scratch. But it feels so relieving when you can see a way out of such a dark place.
Im going this cause its time to see what I am truly capable when I stop giving up and start being consistent in going forward no matter how slow. Progress is still progress no matter how small.
You eat an elephant one bite at a time.